Break The Wall

When we think somethings that related with people feeling you may know how tangled my head a few days before. Actually a few weeks before. I had a conflict with my self and because i'm thinking so much people around me give a reflection. Oh no! Are they put an eyes on me?? I don't know. 

I'm thinking so much about my work. I don't have the ability to do that. But now when i can facing the obstacle  i'm feel free. Ya! Free!!! Now i can see my friends and people around me in better situations. That so relief. 

Gloomy Morning

I'm get mad! when suddenly my friend quip me in an early morning. Even she doesn't mean to hurt me but in her heart i can see what she mean by that. Can you be more matured in your speaking rather than matured in your face??? I'm quite frustrated when i'm give something nice and sincere but you doesn't appreciate it! Please don't envy with me, you just get nothing with that attitude. What for you so envy and jealous with me and my life. I don't border your life. Be grateful what you have now because Allah know better what best for you. I have be patient for a long time. Do you know that?

Recovery

After a while, my feeling come joyful again. Thanks to my friend in my class because willing to speak with me. Ya, people like to someone who are care and caring them. That's normal. Sometimes i doesn't care about people feel. But somehow i realize as a human being people tend to feel like that. Happy, sad, enjoy, excited, stress, worried, angry, etc. All of this things from The Ultimate Power who put all this feeling together to people with different kind of expressions and behavior. That was sweet if we see it in the different angle. 

As i said before in my Facebook. The power of think positive, its work! Now i'm in the good conditions, but still worried about the something happen in my life now. But, if i continue think about that without good manner i get nothing. Ya, nothing! I don't want nothing, i want everything. I'll try my best to get my near target which is "speak and speak louder". The English louder. My Allah ease. 

I want get the ultimate calmness. Just hope. 

The Darkness

Lately i felt like i'm not existent in people life. I do my own business, felt alone in this world even my friends and family around me. What actually i want in this world now is in vagueness, its dark and dull. How can i express my self in this way now. Nothing can make me felt better even the word form people say. Oh no, my heart now in the darkness??? Ya! i have to admitted. After a few times, i'm still looking for my own identity. Who am i? What i want? Want i want to become? Are you good enough? Where your target? etc. So many things in my life was happen, but i'm still like me. My old me, its the same. If i thing to change, i'm just thinking. So poor me. people around me same like doesn't like me. I'm i right? When i see their face, their act, their mood, oh! stress me!

One thing i really want in my life is, have a skill to make Public Speaking. Oh, this is the English problem too, like my previous post. No! its not about the language, this is about your attitude, your passion, your acting, your personal problem. Even i get the chance to do it in Malay, do i can make it better? Do i'm the best speaker? Do i'm do the best? No!!!! Stress again!

O The Almighty Allah. Please guide me.

English

As a promised to my self.

Starting today i want push up myself to speak and write in English, such a big shame to me when i cannot speak very well in English. i felt stress, shame, not confident at all..arrrggghhhh!!!! This thing really hit me! I try to get formal class for this language but, what i get is the very basic and small thing. Actually, nothing can make me expert on that escape my own self. Ya i know that. Nothing can change you if you don't want to change. O my Almighty God! Please enlighten me for my great future, i want to become someone who have a better life and balancing the world needed and the hereafter. My Allah ease me. 

My Start

Bissmillah!

Praise to Allah, for a long time i think and continue thinking to have my own blog, finally i have it now. Alhamdulillah.

Such an introduction. I hope i can rise up myself in order to be a good person which mean good in my life and hereafter. My Allah ease me. Amen.