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Around 3 months I didn't open my blog, no update news and so many things I want to write. I realize now I'm not very motivate person. Huh! Even to update new entry I felt lazy. Blame to myself!

After 11 month study and exam, now I'm free! A bit sad at myself because now I'm jobless. I already sent my resume in many institutions but until now only 1 reply me. May Allah give more InchaAllah. In the Holy month of Ramdhan, I hope my worship towards Allah become increasing day a day. Amen.

Ramdhan Kareem.

Tired

I'm back to my home today to get my others stuff. I felt so tired because i need to take the bus to LRT and then has to change the LRT at Masjid Jamek before get home. After that, i need to come back to my friend's home with a same way. My body was so tired because i have to use the stairs to cross the highway on the way to go and back. MashaAllah! Now i'm realize how much comfort my life lately compare to my friend here. Of course they have to use the public transport everyday because they don't have they're own transportation . It is true went we hear people say, people always forget went they have divertissement in life. Ya Allah, don't forget me and please guide me! 

Let them go, but don't forget it!

Change to a new place make me realize that i change a lot! We always read a very common quota says 'Don't forget your past, because you learn a lot from your past'. Ya! I admitted. went i come here at my new place to study, i became speechless for a moment. My home now much more better than this. Even though this house not so big as my house now, but they are all stay happily together and respect each others. I'm not say at my house now we're not happy but we are busy with our daily life that is work. This house make me miss my old memories, went i'm too young to stay with a friend. A teenager looking for their own identity. Stay with my friend where we cook and we put all our things together, sometime quite messy but no one be dispirited with that disorganization home. 

But now its different, everyone might be stress with the messiness thing, its because everyone was tired back from office. Hah! This is what we call 'life'. Sometimes we at the top, and sometimes we at the other level. What can i learn is, we have a many kind of people with various kind of place. Of course we have to see the back went we want to get some learn but we also do not need to stay at the back 'again' because our ages increasingly by year, so we need to increase to! I want be a successful people, so i always instruct my self to stay driven and focus!  May Allah ease me. InchaAllah Amin. 

Study Week

In the study week time, actually a good time to rest enough, why? Its because we can having a much time to stay at home. But it is a different if you want to score A in your exam, your study week its just like a 'twinkling of an eye' if you need to cover all the topic. And because of that, i take my own risk to change. I change my mood and place to study at my friend's home so that i can more focus! I really hope this time i can get Big 'A'. May Allah ease me! inchaAllah! 

Robbana Yassir wala Tu'assir! 

Empty

I don't understand with myself. Sometimes i don't know what to do even I've many thins to do. Too lazy doing anything! Why?? I've read article talking about marriage. One of the reason among successful people is they have supported from their couple. So sweet. Do i have one too?? Tired! i'm tired thinking about this! May Allah ease me and endow me someone with good looking to be with me here and here after. May this one be the best bestow to me. Amen. 

That My Secret

Went we talk about something that related to our personal behavior sometimes we can get mad and so excited.  Why? It because went we talk about our personal we talking about our weaknesses and its a bit shame to share with others. Lately, i felt someone keep on eyes on me. How come someone can read your past story by looking at you? That beyond my capability but its was true sometimes! Hah! I hate felt like this. Come on! I can't stay at this stage without doing nothing. 

To myself:

• Don't think something to much if that thing can bother your daily life. You have to go forward, forget all the past.
• Do the thing that make you get benefit from that so you will success.
• Do not over underestimated the small thing that can destroy you BUT don't go beyond that if you can't control it. 

Blogger

Long time ago, i always see my friend blog. But after i finished my study i don't have any attention to read the blog. One thing that make me sometimes felt haggish is went i see blogger for a long times don't update their blog. Why their create the blog but not consistent with that. Now i know why, sometimes you may feel bored, lazy, feel bad to do anything and etc. I don't want get into this thing. May Allah ease me.

Assignment mood. Why this semester assignment so though! 

Break The Wall

When we think somethings that related with people feeling you may know how tangled my head a few days before. Actually a few weeks before. I had a conflict with my self and because i'm thinking so much people around me give a reflection. Oh no! Are they put an eyes on me?? I don't know. 

I'm thinking so much about my work. I don't have the ability to do that. But now when i can facing the obstacle  i'm feel free. Ya! Free!!! Now i can see my friends and people around me in better situations. That so relief. 

Gloomy Morning

I'm get mad! when suddenly my friend quip me in an early morning. Even she doesn't mean to hurt me but in her heart i can see what she mean by that. Can you be more matured in your speaking rather than matured in your face??? I'm quite frustrated when i'm give something nice and sincere but you doesn't appreciate it! Please don't envy with me, you just get nothing with that attitude. What for you so envy and jealous with me and my life. I don't border your life. Be grateful what you have now because Allah know better what best for you. I have be patient for a long time. Do you know that?

Recovery

After a while, my feeling come joyful again. Thanks to my friend in my class because willing to speak with me. Ya, people like to someone who are care and caring them. That's normal. Sometimes i doesn't care about people feel. But somehow i realize as a human being people tend to feel like that. Happy, sad, enjoy, excited, stress, worried, angry, etc. All of this things from The Ultimate Power who put all this feeling together to people with different kind of expressions and behavior. That was sweet if we see it in the different angle. 

As i said before in my Facebook. The power of think positive, its work! Now i'm in the good conditions, but still worried about the something happen in my life now. But, if i continue think about that without good manner i get nothing. Ya, nothing! I don't want nothing, i want everything. I'll try my best to get my near target which is "speak and speak louder". The English louder. My Allah ease. 

I want get the ultimate calmness. Just hope. 

The Darkness

Lately i felt like i'm not existent in people life. I do my own business, felt alone in this world even my friends and family around me. What actually i want in this world now is in vagueness, its dark and dull. How can i express my self in this way now. Nothing can make me felt better even the word form people say. Oh no, my heart now in the darkness??? Ya! i have to admitted. After a few times, i'm still looking for my own identity. Who am i? What i want? Want i want to become? Are you good enough? Where your target? etc. So many things in my life was happen, but i'm still like me. My old me, its the same. If i thing to change, i'm just thinking. So poor me. people around me same like doesn't like me. I'm i right? When i see their face, their act, their mood, oh! stress me!

One thing i really want in my life is, have a skill to make Public Speaking. Oh, this is the English problem too, like my previous post. No! its not about the language, this is about your attitude, your passion, your acting, your personal problem. Even i get the chance to do it in Malay, do i can make it better? Do i'm the best speaker? Do i'm do the best? No!!!! Stress again!

O The Almighty Allah. Please guide me.

English

As a promised to my self.

Starting today i want push up myself to speak and write in English, such a big shame to me when i cannot speak very well in English. i felt stress, shame, not confident at all..arrrggghhhh!!!! This thing really hit me! I try to get formal class for this language but, what i get is the very basic and small thing. Actually, nothing can make me expert on that escape my own self. Ya i know that. Nothing can change you if you don't want to change. O my Almighty God! Please enlighten me for my great future, i want to become someone who have a better life and balancing the world needed and the hereafter. My Allah ease me. 

My Start

Bissmillah!

Praise to Allah, for a long time i think and continue thinking to have my own blog, finally i have it now. Alhamdulillah.

Such an introduction. I hope i can rise up myself in order to be a good person which mean good in my life and hereafter. My Allah ease me. Amen.